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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Where is it safe to park your car in Oakland? Alameda.

Naturally you will be ticketed for any of the following...
Stopping at a red zone, even to throw your passenger out into the street! Same for picking up grandma at BART or the Airport. Double parking EXCEPT in Chinatown. Taking too long to pay for parking at the machine a block away. Stopping in front of a restaurant to pick up your take-out order. Meter counters [ I can't call them maids] come by every 15 minutes! Lovely Rita she's NOT. Stay away from the shopping areas of Dimond District, Grand Lake, Piedmont Avenue, any BART station, and next to parks and schools.

The residents of Oakland have a vendetta against anyone parking in their neighborhood. Sometimes their own neighbors!
Up in the hills above Montclair, there are streets that have no sidewalks, cannot allow 2 way traffic to pass, and where you can only park on one side. If you park in the direction opposite to the flow of traffic, park too close to the hedges and block walkers, OR don't live there, you will get ticketed. How the police figure who lives there and who don't is baffling...unlike Berkeley, there are no permit stickers!
If your registration is not up to date, you will get towed, unless you are parked in your own driveway. Partially blocking a driveway [even your own], being on, or extending over the sidewalk. And any other violation noticed will get you towed.

Although I would like to see this happen [skip forward to 5:53], Not to me of course...

Monday, February 15, 2010

I love this Doctor...

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it..... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these?
Vegetables. So, steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% of the recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain.. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU're NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO… Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

On Race and Nationality

Why is it that that politicians are the ones that can't speak politically correct?

Challenged? Hell I was psychologically challenged the moment the %#$&*$ doctor spanked my butt!! [OK I didn't cry right then and there, but that is another story for another post]

African-American? After how many generations in the USA? Not from Haiti? Are you sure? Hell, the first Adam-human was from that continent! So we are all African! [There is a sci-fi story about this...again for another post]. And if "my family" did something to "your family" in the 1860s, why the hell should I apologize?!?

Call a person from Nicaragua a Mexican, and you'll get your ass whooped! Make the same mistake in any other race and you will be handed your ass...except when it involves a white person! Why? Because unless one can remember a grandparent coming from a specific country OR live in a predominantly cultural neighborhood, there will always be more than one nationality involved. So unless one is that or a confirmed White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, Amish, or White Supremacist, a white person will always refer to themselves as American. [Or White...they did NOT come from the Caucasian mountain region]. As for our government, it only sees Americans as Republicans and Democrats...I posted that somewhere. [excuse me a moment...a black limo just pulled up...]

All peoples have a Racial commonality, not a National one! Recorded history shows that human civilization has broken by language, geography, religion, and strong leaders. The Bible had God scattering us across the world...Babel made us not understand each other, Noah's sons each took a different continent, Revelations says a divided world will be shattered by His Kingdom. Until everyone can understand that there are no idealogical or physical borders to divide us, we will never have world peace.

I hope I offended no one...my ultimate goal is to offend everyone! Can I get off this box now?

"New" FaceBook format


Of All Things Facebook and Other Social Media
WTFB is the difference between "Top stories since your last visit" and "Recent stories" and are we morons to need to know the difference? [more]

PLEASE KEEP THIS TRUCK MOVING AND SHOW OUR DISLIKE!!!
─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ▄ ▌ ▐ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▌
─ ─ ─ ▄ ▄ █ █ ▌ █ ░ ♥ ░ CHANGE OUR FACE BOOK BACK ░░ ♥░ ░▐
▄ ▄ ▄ ▌ ▐ █ █ ▌ █ ░ ♥ ░ WE DON'T LIKE THIS LOOK ░░░ ░ ♥░ ░▐
█ █ █ █ █ █ █ ▌ █ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▄ ▌
...▀ (@) ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ (@)(@) ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ (@) ▀ ▘
TO ALL THOSE WHO HATE THIS NEW FACE BOOK...PLEASE REPOST
[  ] The internet allows me to go anywhere in the world. Facebook remains my inspiration to make the best use of it. My laptop (with router) gives me the freedom to move about the house for four hours; my phone, everywhere else for six, unplugged. My family keeps me grounded to reality. God is my connection to eternity.
[  ] Either women are are more popular or men sit there waiting for a notification alarm. more
[  ] What are lists? Lists EQUALS GOOGLE+ 'CIRCLES'


[  ] FACEBOOK JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. HOAX   
[  ] Like death and taxes. As well as spouses with axes. No matter how you may change it, it will still bite you in your asses.
[  ] Facebook has redesigned the news feed (again!) and officially launched a ticker
[  ] The ticker is like what is on some non-FB pages, but is a repeat of what is already on the main body of the news feed. in response to Lori's post



[  ] Why is it only certain activities of your friends can be seen? Earthquake info was posted by a friend 8pm, but is no longer on the Wall/News Feed 14 hours later. Am I being forced to 'subscribe' to be a follower/stalker?
[  ] Every social network rips off each other. Soon everything will be the same, homogenousabout Twitter in response to Claire's post
[  ] If I don't like the idea of an Unlike just because it is not a word according to the original Daniel Webster, will you click Like? or will you take the time to make a comment?
[  ] Facebook is like toilet paper. Something new always rolls around. Sometimes it's just a pile of crap!
CGT- FB just circles Uranus wiping out Klingons...
[  ] And the Universe blinks!
Google+ Now Open To Everyone [formerly being available to only Republicans LOL]. FB is to announce at a San Francisco conference in two days what they shoved in our face today.
[  ] OK I am now on board Google Plus  [September 24 1815 3 hours ago]
[  ] Google search and G+ tells me "you might be lonely." You think?
[  ] Tineye
[  ] For those of you who use Android, have you bought any apps that you would recommend? Free ones? Have you 'rooted' your phone ['jailbreak' for iPhone users], or used Applanet? Apps - Android Market  Top Free in Apps  AndroidZoom.com  Android Central  Applanet
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Facebook is a medium to pass on information and opinions. It is not a 'thing'!
As with any group of more than one person, there are rules of conduct to follow...everything should be just fine. There is no need to apologize for anything. If you need to explain yourself, you are speaking to the wrong audience. Just move on.
Item: The alpha-texty-numeric character limit for a status has been raised to 500. I guess FBHQ finally figured out the meaning of '420'
FB is an experiment in which we are given unlabeled tubes and vials >(:[)]
News Feed, see updates from people with whom you've recently interacted DOES NOT MEAN only a few of your friends will actually see your posts. Whoever at FB Central that worded this is an oxy[gen-breathing] moron.
The first part of the statement states what you see because of your inaction. The second part says what others see from your same inaction. Two completely different consequences, the ending not supportive of the first. I did the math.
In my post last night, I told you a monkey in FB Central was an idiot. Here's the proof.

Another FB change... your Wall is in the order of the most recent comments and posts with no comments. Then at some point it continues to the usual order of posts.
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See more Changes in the past month of September
December 2010 The Case of The Disappearing Facebook

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February Last Year
Finally got it. Seems OK. Simple enough. Just a few complaints [I am never 100% satisfied with anything!] Why are all the "buttons" so far apart? You have to float your cursor all over the screen to click between menus, actions, scroll, and searches. See that mouse fly off the pad! See my finger scrape across the touch pad ten times to get where I'm going! Why not just 2 columns instead of 3? Other than the Ads, the right column is redundant...Requests is News Feeds, Chat is Friends Online...scroll down and you have a wasted right side!
Did you know the FBLite experiment from a while back still exists as an option? Just log-in at http://lite.facebook.com/
OK I think I get it! There is no longer any distinction between News Feed and Live Feed. There is now Top News and Most Recent. And Most Recent refers to when it was originally posted..even though, there seems to be something missing...like anything I just posted on "What's on Your Mind?" and what you may have posted on "Wall-to-Wall."
As of 8pm Tuesday, February 9, there have been single posts 2, 5, and 7 hours ago; 17 more posts in the past 19 hours; and 78 posts Yesterday. If you had posted anyhing, or made any comments recently, not all of them show up on my Home page [I checked them against your Profile Posts]. They all would have in Status Updates before the revision. Unless you have recently blocked me, I wonder who decides which posts can be seen.
Item: Make Farmville, Vampire Wars, etc activity icons smaller than our profile buttons. Yoyoville cartoons are scaring the kids!
8:03pm Did you know you could go to friends and then to Status updates and get that more reliable personal page back.
Then bookmark it and you can get there from your browser page and go directly onto Status Updates This feels better and I'll bet you're less likely to miss anyone.
From Laurie ~ go to friends and then status updates ~ click ~ see more details above. Other's post will show soon. This new change has made FB slower and less efficient for the moment... news feed is too generic and arbitrary, loses the personal touch, but with changes above you can get it back. Cheers!
11:30pm Confirmed...some [not all] posts show after 2 hours (a 2 hours ago post just popped up). See my comments here...will be updated as needed. I'll incorporate Laurie's tips into it soon.
Next AM: It seems posts finally caught up overnight, as I slept. Must be a Santa Clause thing.
Wed 2/10 Update from Maumi: FACEBOOK IS BLOCKING ALL YOUR FRIENDS' NEWS FEEDS EXCEPT 250 THEY CHOOSE. TO UNDO: from HOME page, select NEWS FEED and scroll to bottom of page, click "Edit Options" ( to the right side ~ left side is "older posts". Select NEWS FEED SETTINGS. reset 250 to 5000 for FB's max.friend limit & your feed will work right again.

Mood: Right now I feel recycled! FaceBook is people!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Letter from Father and Mother

In our old age, please understand and be patient with us, child...

If WE should spill soup on the dining table
Or break a plate
We hope you don't get angry at us
It is only because of our poor eyes and stiffening fingers...
If we gor angry at you for the cups and plates you broke when your were little,
It was because we didn't want you to get cut [hurt].

If we don't understand or hear what you say to us
You shouldn't say to us "Deaf!"
Our hearing is not as it used to be
Please repeat it loudly, but no need to shout at us
In order for us to inderstand each other.

If we walk slow and we can't keep up with your fast pace
Please wait and guide- our knees are weak now
Support like when you were an infant just learning to walk
We were very happy watching over you.

If sometimes we annoy you by saying things over and over like a broken record,
We hope you don't laugh at us or become disgusted
You were annouing like that as a child and you even cried--
When you wanted us to buy simething and you would not stop
Until you got what you wanted.

If we show laziness to take a bath and we smell like earth
We hope you don't dread us and force us to take a bath...
It is because our bodies are weak when cold.
Do you remember when you were a child and no matter how dirty you were
We were so happy kissing you
And we were patient chasing you under the bed at bath time?

If we are always moody or shouting
This is probably brought on by being useless at home
And depression that we can't do anything and have no purpose.
Please show us that we still have some importance in your world
Just like we showed you your importance then
And straightened out your mistakes and hard headedness.

If you have a little time we shold have a converstation...
I know you are busy with work but we so much want to talk to you.
I want to you to know that we are interested in what you have to say
Just like when you tell us about your day at school when you were still a child.
Even though you broken speech was hard to understand,
We happily listened to you go on about your play.

If we wet or dirty ourselves in bed because we can't get up
Please don't be angry or disgusted with us.
Just like when we never complained when we woke up at night no matter how tired we were
Just to clean and change your diapers so that you can sleep comfortably
It doesn't matter that we lose sleep.

If we can't get up from bed ill
Please don't tire of taking care of us
Just like we took care of you as a baby.
Every complaint then was painful for us as well
Be patient taking care of us at our last moments
We won't be here for long.

AND when the time comes for us to face the Loving Creator...
I will whisper and request of Him,
To bless you because of your being a loving and caring child to your father and mother.

Original Tagalog

Sa aming pagtanda, unawain at pagpasensyahan mo sana kami, anak. . .

Kung makatapon kami ng sabaw sa hapag kainan
O kaya makabasag ng pinggan
'Wag mo naman sana kaming kagagalitan
Dala lang yun ng kalabuan ng mata at ng namamanhid naming mga daliri. . .
Pinagalitan ka man sa mga baso't pinggang iyong nabasag noon bata ka pa,
Iyon ay dahil ayaw naming masugatan ka.

Kung ang mga sinasabi mo'y 'di maintindihan at madinig
'Wag mo naman sana kaming sabihan ng "Bingi!"
Humihina na talaga ang aming pandinig
Pakiulit lang nang malakas-lakas na 'di naman kailangang sigawan
Upang tayo ay magkaunawaan.

Kung mabagal na kaming maglakad at 'di na makasabay sa mabilis mong paglakad
Pakiantay sana at alalayan—mahihina na ang aming mga tuhod
Alalay na tulad sana nung musmuos ka pa at nag-aaral ka pa lang maglakad
Tuwang tuwa ka naming pinagmamasdan.

Kung minsang makulit at paulit ulit ang aming sinabi na parang sirang plaka,
'Wag mo sana kaming pagtawanan o kainisan
Ganyan ka rin kakulit noong bata ka pa at nag-iiyak pa--
Kapag nagpapabili ng kung anu ano’y di kami tinitigilan
Hangggang ang gusto mo'y di naibibigay.

Kung kinatatamaran namin na maligo at nag-aamoy lupa na
'Wag mo naman sanang pandirihan at piliting maligo. . .
Mahina na kasi ang aming katawan pag nalalamigan.
Natatandaan mo ba noong bata ka pa at kahit anung dungis mo
Ay masayang-masaya ka naming hinahalikan
At mat'yagang hinahabol sa ilalim ng kama upang paliguan?

Kung palagi kaming masungit at nagsisisigaw
Dala na siguro ito ng pagkabagot sa bahay
At pagkadismaya na wala nang magawa at wala nang silbi.
Ipadama mo naman sana na may halaga pa rin kami sa mundo mo
Katulad ng pagpapadama namin noon ng pagpapahalaga
At pagtutuwid sa kamalian at katigasan ng iyong ulo.

Kung may konti ka mang panahon mag kwentuhan naman sana tayo. . .
Alam kong abala ka sa hanapbuhay pero sabik na kaming makausap ka.
Gusto kong malaman mo na interesado pa rin kami sa mga kwento mo
Tulad n'ung pagbibida mo sa eskwela noong bata ka pa.
Na kahit pautal utal pa ang salita mo,
Nakikinig kaming masaya tungkol sa iyong mga laruan.

Kung kami man ay maihi o madumi sa higaaan dahil hindi na makabangon
'Wag mo sanang pagagalitan o pandididrihan.
Katulad ng walang reklamo naming paggising nang kahit anong pagod sa gabi
Upang linisin at palitan ang iyong lampin para maginghawa kang makatulog
Hindi na baling kami ang mapuyat.

Kung kami’y maratay sa banig ng karamdaman
'Wag mo sanan kaming pagsawaang alagaan
Gaya ng mat'yaga naming pag-aalaga noong musmos ka pa.
Bawat daing mo noon ay hirap na dinadala sa aming kalooban
Pagt'yagaan mo naman sana kaming alagaan sa aming mga huling sandali
Kami naman ay di na rin magtatagal.

AT kapag dumating na ang takdang panahon ng aming pagharap sa Dakilang Lumikha. . .
Ibubulong at hihilingin ko sa Kanya.
Na pagpalain ka dahil naging mapagmahal at maalaga kang anak sa iyong ama’t ina.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQAeljsSv2s&feature=related Sulat ni Tatay at Nanay
http://lifetranslated.blogspot.com/2007/11/sulat-ni-nanay-at-tatay.html Written version